3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
