i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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