Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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