your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
there's paper in my vomit.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize