who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
