She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
