i'm signing you up for texting rehab
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize