We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
