I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
