Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
All I want is dick and wine.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
