We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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