There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
