I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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