i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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