I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
