Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
