the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
