we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
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