This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
