I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
