On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
