this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
My feet surprised me
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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