he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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