Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
