He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
