WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
