my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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