Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
is it fun? or sober?
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
