omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
