We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Randomize
