Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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