last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
