I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
