I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
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