be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
