they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
