I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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