It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
