I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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