You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
