hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Even my vagina gasped.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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