next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
