Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We left an ass print on the piano.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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