Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
