Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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