How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
