Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
