4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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