I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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