no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
