Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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