I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
