this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
