I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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