a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
