I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
