you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
