I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
