So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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