Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
