Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
