go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
